Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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