i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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