last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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