I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i dont even know how to be here
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
