were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
