how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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