just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
