good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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