After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
