Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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