i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
