Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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