All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
