I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm like, not good at living.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
