dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
