Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
