There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
