I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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