I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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