Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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