Where did you get a picture of my penis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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