the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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