someone get that fucking seahorse.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
