In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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