im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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