I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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