Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
