I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
