so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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