and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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