I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
try to milk me bitch
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