Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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