its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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