THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
