Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
