Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
