we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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