he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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