yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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