i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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