I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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