I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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