well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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