Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
