ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
