look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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