Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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