oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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