did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
