you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
