At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
