jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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