Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
