dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
