I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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