So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just google imaged poop.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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